Kyp Durron had been trying to shift position for almost fifteen minutes when he finally gave up. Even his immersion in a bacta tank had not completely banished the ghastly injuries he had sustained, and his limbs felt like they were made of butter. He steered his thoughts quickly away from the cause of those injuries--it wasn't something he liked to think about.

A knock at the door surprised him. "Come in," he called, startled to hear his voice gruff.

The man who entered was near the end of the list of people Kyp had expected to see. "Wedge?"

"I thought we should talk." Wedge Antilles stopped near Kyp's bed and sat on the stool beside it. "Feeling all right?"

"Yeah," Kyp said in surprise. "Wedge, I don't know what to say--"

The pilot ran a hand through his already tousled dark hair. "We have a saying on Corellia. ‘Don't worry.' It works well enough here."

Kyp could only stare at him.

"You've commited many a crime, Kyp. Including attacking Qwi and erasing her memories."

"I know, Wedge, and I can only say...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Kyp said, feeling tears stinging his eyes. "I have no excuses."

"Luke tells me you went over to the dark side of the Force," Wedge said bluntly.

Kyp hesitated. "Yes," he said slowly, pain filling his voice.

"And that you came back."

"I hope so."

Wedge glanced at him. "You hope so?"

The tears started to fall. "It was so easy, Wedge. Going over to the dark side, I mean. I'm back now, but what if it happens again? What if I hurt someone?"

Wedge hesitated, then reached out and placed a hand on Kyp's shoulder. "I don't presume to know anything about the Force, but...I think the fact that you're worrying about it is a good sign."

Now that the tears had started, Kyp couldn't stop them. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's all right. Kyp, you should know that I'm not angry at you anymore. I was for a long time, but that's past. Qwi has forgiven you as well. Perhaps you'll never atone in your own mind, but to me, you have."

Kyp scrubbed angrily at his eyes, then immediately used a Jedi calming technique to smooth the unwanted emotion away. He was afraid of anger and hatred now. He was afraid that they would stalk him and drag him back to the dark side. "You've...forgiven me?"

"Yes. You've had enough pain. I don't know if it helps, but...friends?" he said sticking out his hand.

Kyp weakly brought up his own and shook it. "Friends," he replied.

Wedge eyed him. "Have you forgiven yourself?"

Kyp looked away, out the window, gazing at the buildings of Coruscant. "No," he said after a moment. "I don't think I ever can." He summoned the strength to raise both hands up, studying them. "My own brother. He's dead because I killed him. I killed an entire planet. Innocent people. Most of them were probably conscripts, like Zeth." He grimaced.

Wedge said nothing.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters, Wedge?" Kyp asked numbly.

The wing commande's suddenly became distant. He hesitated briefly. "Yes," Wedge said slowly. "I have a sister...but I haven't seen her for a long time."

"How would you feel if you had killed her?" Kyp went on, his voice hardening, as if he could shut out his own emotions.

"Kyp, pull yourself together. You think I haven't seen people die? I'm in an X-wing squadron, dammit. I've sent people on missions so dangerous that they were almost certain to die. Sometimes they pulled through, sometimes not. I've lost friend after friend, people that are like my family. But do you see me wallowing in self-pity? What you did happened because of an evil influence. You can't blame yourself for falling to temptation."

Kyp just shook his head and tried to burrow under the blanket. Wedge yanked it back, exposing his bandaged body. "Look, Kyp, I know one thing for a fact. Guilt is unhealthy. Did you ever hear about Yavin 4? During that trench run, I had to pull out and leave Biggs there, helpless. If I'd stayed, maybe we could have held those TIE fighters somehow while Luke fired the torpedoes at the Death Star. But my fighter was damaged; I couldn't stay with him. So now Biggs is dead. I went over that one split second a million times, wishing I could go back and stay with him. It ate away at me, and finally, I just had to confront it and banish it." Kyp glanced up at him. "I've heard Luke say that anger and hatred lead to the dark side. What about fear and guilt, Kyp? What if they lead to the dark side too?"

Kyp's eyes widened. He hadn't considered that. He had to talk to Luke. What if he were going back right now? How could he stop?

"If you can't forgive yourself and come to terms with your actions, then you'll never get on with your life," Wedge went on. Then he glanced at Kyp, whose wide eyes were filled with fear. "I'm sorry, Kyp. I guess I'm too used to giving lectures."

Kyp swallow convulsively. "No, you're right. You have every right to lecture. I'll try to forgive myself, Wedge. No, wait, there is no try." He laughed weakly. "I should listen to Master Luke more often, I suppose. Do, or do not. There is no try. Yes, I will, but it may take some time."

Wedge patted him on the shoulder, this time in a companionable way without hesitating. "You have a good start, Kyp."