“Jaina, aren’t you coming to morning meal? You’re too thin!”

Jacen was not going to accept a no from her today.

“No, I’m not hungry. You go ahead, I’ll be fine”

She wasn’t getting away that easily.....

“You are not fine. You are too thin. You need to eat.”

It also wouldn’t hurt to have her acting social again.

“So I’ve gotten a little thinner, I’m still healthy. Skipping morning meal every so often isn’t going to kill me!”

Why won’t he just leave me alone?

“You’re coming, and you’re eating, and you’re going to actually talk to the others for a change.” His voice was very quiet, and very angry sounding.

“No, I’m not. I’m not hungry, I don’t want to eat. I don’t feel like talking to anybody. I’m not coming, and you can’t make me.”

“Fine then. If you don’t feel like coming then don’t. Sit in your room and rot, for all I care.” He paused, still angry, but tired of fighting. “We miss you, that’s all.” And with that he left.

Jaina sighed. Better than some of their previous arguments had ended, but she’d rather not argue at all. She knew she was growing apart from her friends. She had known it months ago, when Jaina felt she’d prefer to be alone for awhile. It wasn’t their fault, it couldn’t be.

Jaina still enjoyed working with machines and the like, but she wanted to be alone. She knew that it hurt Lowie’s feelings when she refused his help with something she had started working on, but she didn’t want anybody’s help.

Jaina assumed that Tenel Ka understood, she hadn’t tried to talk to her, to force her back into what she used to be, the way the others had. But she could still sense that she had hurt the young warrior when she stopped wanting to be the captain of the Rock Dragon.

Jacen. As her twin, they were close anyway. But because they were force sensitive, their bond was abnormally strong. He was the most persistent of all of the others. He was also the most annoying. Jaina knew that he cared, but he shouldn’t worry about her so much. She only wanted to be alone for awhile, that’s all.

Just a little while, without anybody else.

Because maybe then the dreams would stop, if everyone left her alone.

“She isn’t coming.”

Lowbacca growled loudly at Jacen’s empty sounding announcement.

“Master Lowbacca says that perhaps we should go to her. And I heartily agree. The current state that Mistress Jaina is in is most detrimental to her health, mind and body.”

“No, she is upset about something. We should let her stay alone until she is ready.”

Tenel Ka was the only one, in Jacen’s opinion, that could even decipher a small translation as to what Jaina’s refusal to be with them meant.

“What’s wrong with her? She doesn’t even want to talk to me anymore!” Jacen said, disinterestedly picking at his food.

Lowie growled again.

“Master Lowbacca says that perhaps it is not you for whom she seeks to discuss her emotions.”

Lowie growled louder.

“That is to say, Mistress Jaina might want to talk to someone else.”

“Who else could she want to talk to? She’s my sister!”

“Lowbacca may be right. She does not wish to talk to us about her problems, and she won’t talk to Master Skywalker.”

Tenel Ka was beginning to guess why Jaina wasn’t with them any more.

“Then who? She won’t talk to Lusa or Raynar. Who else is there?”

Jacen was becoming desperate.

“She isn’t eating enough. I’m getting worried about that. She’s gotten too thin.”

Lowie growled in agreement.

“I agree with Master Lowbacca. Mistress Jaina is becoming too thin for her health. If she doesn’t want to eat, she should take supplements.”

“Uncle Luke already tried that! He says she’s depressed. But why would she be depressed?”

“I am sure that Jaina has her reasons, and will tell you them to you in time.”

Tenel Ka already knew that Jaina wouldn’t talk, or eat with any of the people at the Academy. But she was beginning to figure out who she might talk to, provided that the person could be found.

She was running, ducking and weaving through the thick forests, filled with ethereal trees, wavering slightly in the wind.

But Yavin IV doesn't have trees like that.....

She had to keep going, to keep ahead of them. It wasn't so far now, just a few more hundred meters. She couldn't let them catch her, she had to tell someone, before they could get to her.

Who's "they"? Why am I running?

She was getting tired, but no, had to keep going, had to get away....

Away from what?

There it is. Not so far now, it would be easy to just make it past a few more of the guards. But she still had to be careful, they were expecting her.

What's happening? I hate this part, I have no control.

Quickly now, should make a run for it.....why is that droid there?

A small, blue, new kind of droid, barely off the assembly lines, or so she was told, was shooting some kind of....rock at the guards?

That looks like R2-D2....

Well, at least she could get away now, they were converging on the place where the projectile had been thrown.

Where am I?

She was in the ship now, they hadn't even seen her. Felt kind of bad about leaving the droid to them but....

She heard a blast, most certainly a small explosion, and the angry shouts of the guards, but how could the droid of done anything to them? It went against all basic programming; but then again, this was an extremely new type of droid, it probably had all kinds of bugs jumbling it's circuits.

This isn't like the others, I never experienced the others.

There was the droid again, it was headed toward her ship, she really did owe it to the droid, did she not? After all, it had given her a way to get on the ship in the first place...

This can't be the future I'm seeing.

Might as well let it on. She'd be lonely in hyperspace, and at least this way there would be someone else there to talk to...even if she couldn't understand what it was saying back.

Maybe this is because of mal-nutrition...

Now, if only she could survive leaving the atmosphere, and get past the fighters, and figure out how to plot a course, she would be OK. Surely the droid knew how to program a nav computer, didn't it?

And from the indignant sounding beeps she received after asking, she certainly hoped it knew where it was going.

Perhaps if I ate more, my dreams would seem at least semi normal...

What was that droid doing? She didn't know how to fly the ship, despite the fact that it was hers, but it wasn't doing anything she'd seen her pilots do before.

Yes, the first thing I do when I wake up, is get some of that chocolate stuff that Lando keeps bringing me.

Now, she knew she had no business telling anyone how to fly, but as a common rule, she had assumed that it was customary to keep the ship in a position that was right side up, relevant to the planet that they were under.

Note to self: Never let R2 fly any space craft that I have to ride in.

Well, at least they'd made it away from the planet, but she wasn't so sure that she wanted that droid deciding where they were going.

Too late. It had already set a course, and like it or not, there wasn't anything she could do about it.

Where do I get to go today? To be more specific, where and who am I today?

At least it had the politeness to tell her where they were going....Tatooine? She'd never heard of it before. Was it anywhere near Coruscant?

Oh joy. The desert planet. Second note to self: Always check to see where R2's taking me before jumping into hyperspace.

She should probably get some sleep, the droid said it would be awhile before they arrived at Tatooine.

Aren't I already asleep?

Back to her cabin she went, wondering how to contact Coruscant, without letting him and his "associates" (nice word for mercenaries) finding her.

As she drifted off into sleep, she vaguely remembered something.....Tatooine...... why did that remind her of sand? She hated sand...

And this is where I get off, I presume?

Violently, Jaina sat up from her bed, sheets twisted as if she had been running.

But she had been running, hadn't she? And then R2 had...

Annoying dreams. Why couldn't she at least have free will in them? Or maybe it would be nice to be able to let the person who was in control know how she felt about running 5 or 6 kilometers in her sleep.

Not to mention falling asleep for two hours and missing Uncle Luke's morning lecture. But she could talk to him later, didn't really matter. She had lots of free time.

What was it that she was trying to remember?

Oh of course, the chocolate

"Uncle Luke? Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course you can, Jacen. Is it about your sister again?" Luke had gotten used to Jacen complaining about how she was never around.

"She wasn't at the lecture this morning."

"So? You've missed a few of my lectures as well, as I recall."

"She also skipped morning meal. Again." Jacen was staring to sound agitated.

"I know that she hasn't been well lately. But it is her situation. If she wants our help, then she'll ask."

"She never asks for help! She's too stubborn. And with Anikan off on anther one of his adventures with Tarihi and Co., I've lost the one person who can get inside her head, besides Tenel Ka, and of course she's not going to tell me why Jaina's acting like this."

"You're as stubborn as she is, if not more so. Don't blame your brother or Tenel Ka because they can identify with her solitude, you can see what she's thinking better than anybody else, when you try."

"I am trying! I've been trying! And don't go off on that "Do or do not, there is no try." thing, because I want to do, I make an attempt to do, but in the end, I don't!"

"Calm down, Jacen. The trouble is, you spend so much time thinking about how you do, or why you do, that you never can do."

Tired of an agruement that he knew he couldn't win, Jacen decided to make his escape.

"Alright, Uncle Luke, I should be getting back to Lowie and Tenel Ka. I'll see you at this afternoon's lecture?"

"Yes, and make sure that your sister attends."

Noticing the strange look given by his nephew, Luke said: "It is fine to miss a lecture here and there, but not two in a row. Or are they really that boring?

Jacen obliged his uncle by chuckling softly. "Only the ones about the battles you fought in. They go on and on..."

"I see your point, next time they'll be about all of the math courses that you've missed in school, so you won't feel so cheated about never having to sit in a small, cramped classroom with 45 or 50 other restless teenagers."

"Yes Uncle Luke. I'll see you later."

"You certainly will.- Oh, and Jacen?" Luke called to his retreating nephew.  "Don't try to make her angry this time."

"I'll see what I can do."

With that, Jacen ran back over to where Tenel Ka and Lowie were sparing.

"Jaina?"

She groaned inwardly. Now her brother would expect her to go to lunch, and probably try to reprimand her for missing the lecture. But this time she had a valid excuse for skipping a meal.

"Come in, Jacen."

"Aren't you coming to lunch?"

"Not this time, I already ate something."

"What'd you eat?"

He'd probably make her go to the cafeteria anyway, chocolate wasn't known for it's nutritious values.

"Some of that chocolate that Lando brings us. I'm not hungry anymore."

"You ate chocolate? That stuff's worse than not eating anything!"

"How so? It's not exactly fat free, so you shouldn't have to worry about my wasting away to nothing."

"It's unhealthy too, so this time you have to come with the rest of your "friends" to lunch."

"And why, pray tell, is that?"

She was going. Jaina knew that she couldn't dissuade him this time, but she would at least try to stall. She didn't want to sit through his and the other's attempts to get her to talk.

"Because you also missed the lecture, and Uncle Luke said that you have to go to the afternoon one."

"I always go to both of them, just like we're all supposed to. But I fell asleep, so I missed the morning one."

"How many times have you used that excuse in the last three months? Never mind, I don't want to know. But you're still coming."

"Alright, I'm going. But I need to shower first, I didn't get a chance to earlier, what with the fact that I was asleep for most of the morning."

This was true, and it could also help her stall some more.

"Fine, fine. Take a shower. But-"

"Jacen, stop while you're a but. I already said that I would be there, and I will be there, and if you want me to be there sooner, then you'll leave me alone for awhile."

Gathering up various materials that she needed to go to the refresher with, Jaina side stepped her brother, and headed towards the showers.

Jacen stood there for a moment, debating whether or not to follow her, but she'd been in a better mood than she'd been in for weeks. Besides, he wasn't supposed to go into the girl's refresher anyway. It'd be best to trust her, and hope that she'd be there with the others in a few minutes.

Jaina waited a few seconds at the entrance to the refresher, seeing if he would try to go after her. Didn't look like it, and that was a small blessing in her eyes. He really had gotten annoying lately. It was hard to see what Tenel Ka saw in him, and he was blind to her attraction to him, as she was to his. But Jaina didn't feel like analyzing her brother's romantic life, at the moment, anyway.

Although her brother was probably right about her weight, she mused. Looking at her body in the mirror, Jaina could see why he was worried.

Her ribs stuck out, not grotesquely, but still, it was kind of odd to look at. Her legs were bony, as were her arms, and even her hands and feet looked skeletal. Her stomach sunk in to her body, making it look like a gaping hole of sorts. Her chest? Well, she used to think her of herself as having normal size breasts. But now, they were as small as they'd been when she was thirteen, and that was something that bothered her, like it would any normal teenage girl.

She sighed, he was right. It wasn't healthy. But it wasn't like she'd been trying to lose weight. She just hadn't been hungry. For the last few months, that is.

When she got back to the cafeteria, she'd eat something. Not a lot, Jaina didn't want her brother to have the satisfaction of seeing her gorge herself. Just some bread, and maybe a glass of milk. Provided that they even had the stuff, they seldom did.

Enough of that. She'd end up missing lunch if she kept staring at herself in the mirror. It was getting harder and harder to keep her mind from wandering. A side affect from the dreams, she assumed. No, best to stay away from that subject, or she'd wind up spending the rest of the day trying to figure out what they meant.

She shook her head annoyedly, and stepped into the water.

"I though you said she was coming."

"Nice to see you too, Tenel Ka." He moved to sit next to her, and across from Lowie.

Jacen was still a little aggravated from his latest argument with Jaina, and had suspicions that she wouldn't show up, again.

Lowbacca growled in concern.

"Master Lowbacca says asks if you have spoken to Mistress Jaina recently."

"Yeah, I was just with her. She said she'd fallen asleep, and that was why she missed the lecture."

"But will she be here?"

Tenel Ka was acting uncharacteristically worried.

"Yeah, she wanted to take a shower first, though. And she seemed to be in a good mood, for a change."

Lowie growled some more.

"Master Lowbacca asks you to define 'good mood'."

"She wasn't yelling? And she agreed to come faster than usual, she should be here soon."

"She won't have very much time to eat. The kitchens close in fifteen minutes."

The young warrior wasn't convinced that Jaina planned to eat.

"If she's not here in ten minutes, I'll get something for her."

Jacen was wondering why his sister wasn't there yet. It had been about twenty minutes since he'd left her room.

Lowie growled again, and gestured at the to someone behind Jacen and Tenel Ka.

"Master Lowbacca says that-"

"Jaina's here, I know. We can understand most of what he says, ya know."

Instead of joining her brother, and those whom she now considered to be his friends, Jaina simply retrieved a few small pieces of bread, and a glass of water, before going to sit at an empty table. Which, Jacen noted, was the farthest one away from him, and those whom he still thought of as their friends.

Seeing Jacen's semi hurt, semi angry expression, Tenel Ka acted quickly.

"I will go see why she is not sitting with us." Sensing her friend's disagreement, she continued. "Jacen, you know that your going over there would only cause a fight."

"Alright, you go. I'll just sit here being useless, as usual."

"You are never useless, friend Jacen, just stubborn and rather pigheaded when it comes to your sister." Before he could protest, Tenel Ka was already walking over to Jaina's table.

Turning to Lowbacca he said, "Women. Always got to have their way."

Lowie growled in agreement.

"Yes, Tenel Ka?"

Jaina had been expecting this.

"Your brother is upset because you are not with us. You told him you would be here."

"I did tell him that, but I never said I'd sit with him and the rest of his friends."

"Your friends too, Jaina."

"Not anymore."

The mood that her brother had called "good" was rapidly fading into the, now customary, angry/depressed one.

"It does not work that way."

"Doesn't it? You and they were my friends, but now I don't want friends. So, you all are no longer my friends."

"You may not be our friend, but we will be yours, until you come out of whatever depression you've fallen into."

"I'm not depressed."

"I have no wish to argue with you Jaina, but you are depressed. But that is not why I came over here." Tenel Ka was beginning to think that perhaps Jacen would have been a better choice to send over.

"Then you came because you didn't want to see me fighting with your Jacen." Jaina knew why Tenel Ka had come over to her table, but instead of talking, she decided to do her meddling brother a favor.

"My Jacen? He is your brother." Tenel Ka was predictably off balance by Jaina's statement, but was used to hiding her emotions.

Works every time, Jaina thought to herself. "My brother, but you've spent more time with him lately than I have. Why don't you go back to him? You know I'm not moving."

"I see. You will not go over there, that was obvious when you first sat here. But what should I tell your brother?"

"The truth. And if he comes over here, I won't talk to him."

"Understandable. He will naturally try to sit with you at the lecture, I can't stop him then."

"I know."

Watching the warrior's retreating form, Jaina hurriedly ate the bread she had gotten. The lecture would start in a few minutes, and if she beat her brother and his friends there, she could find a seat without room for them. Rising from the table, she quickly tossed her trash into a nearby incinerator, and left for the main audience chamber where the lecture would take place.

"She didn't come back with you?"

Jacen had expected his sister to listen to Tenel Ka, of all people.

"Did you really think that she would?"

Tenel Ka was still a little edgy from her talk with Jaina, who seemed to be making everybody upset lately.

Predictably silenced, Jacen resumed picking at his food.

Lowie made several low growls.

"Master Lowbacca asks if Jaina ate her lunch."

"She was eating. And she finished and left right after I came back here."

"That's something, isn't it?"

Jacen appeared suddenly hopeful.

"Perhaps she finally figured out that skeletons aren't entirely prone to being Jedi. And rather than discuss her diet, let us discuss yours."

"What's wrong with me? I eat fine." Jacen was suddenly defensive.

"Only when you are not preoccupied about your sister, which becomes less and less."

"No, no. I eat lots. See?" Jacen rapidly shoved several spoonfuls of fruit into his mouth, in order to avoid having his food intake analyzed, and to lighten the mood. When he had stuffed the remainder of the lunch into his mouth, Jacen turned to Tenel Ka and said: "Like see food?"

Lowie growled once more.

"Master Lowbacca says that your joke is in poor taste, as well as being old. I am inclined to agree, as it is very unbecoming to fill one's mouth with food and offer to show it to someone."

"Uh-huh" Jacen's vocabulary was restricted as he swallowed the failed attempt at making Tenel Ka laugh.

"We should go to the lecture now, almost everyone else is there already." Tenel Ka was long used to Jacen's bad jokes and the like, and had learned to ignore most of them.

Lowbacca growled in agreement, and the two of them left Jacen still struggling to swallow.

As soon as he regain control of his voice, Jacen called out to his friends: "Hey! Wait up!", before running after them.

Jaina, was getting bored.

Her uncle still went over the same Jedi concepts that he'd gone over years before when she first came to the Academy. That was normal, though. His current philosophy was "If you tell them enough, they will eventually understand.". However, while the system was working well with most of the other trainees, Jaina was tired of hearing the same thing over and over again.

Finally, she thought, as Master Skywalker ended his lecture. Now to escape without any interference from annoying family members...

"Hi, Jaina."

Drat. Thwarted again.

"Hello Lusa. Raynar."

"We haven't seen you around lately, is anything wrong?"

Putting on her best fake smile, she said to him "Nothing's wrong. I've just been a little tired recently. In fact, I was just going to take a nap. I'll see you two some other time?".

"Sure. We just wanted to see if you were alright."

Figures he would put Lusa up to this.

"I'm fine, and tell my brother that I don't need for him to send people after me, I can take care of myself."

"It's that obvious that he sent us?" Raynar didn't seem surprised when she caught on to her brother's plan.

"It's very obvious. Bye."

"Bye" Echoed Lusa and Raynar as Jaina practically ran from her approaching brother.

"Do you really think she's ok?" Raynar asked Lusa.

"No, but it's her situation, whatever it is. I hope she doesn't hurt herself."

"I don't think she'll go that far. But we should still be worried about her."

"I heard Tenel Ka telling Jacen that she knew what was wrong."

"What was it?"

"She didn't tell him. But I think she'll do something about it, she always does."

"Whatever you say."

"Naturally."

This, is the last place that he'd look for me, thought Jaina. After narrowly escaping him after the lecture, she'd headed straight to the kitchens. She'd been planning on going anyway, to try to get some more food. The strange thing about it was that ever since her dream this morning, the most disturbing one yet, she'd been hungry. It was as if her body was finally yelling at her for losing so much weight.

Jaina figured that she'd take some more bread (carbohydrates, you know), and then go back to her quarters to sleep. The dreams weren't exactly restful. They had been even worse in the beginning, when all she could see was someone talking to her. Those she never could remember, except for a blurred image every once and awhile. Jaina would then spend the rest of the night attempting to interpret anything she remembered, usually coming up with nothing.

That she could remember the latest one was almost scaring her. Jaina recalled it like it was something she'd done herself, something that she'd experienced.

And R2's being there only made it more confusing. Why would she think of him as being "new"? R2 was one of the oldest types of astrometch droids still used.

The back kitchen door slammed.

Uh-oh, thought Jaina. He's found me. Stupid twin force connection thing. It does more harm than good, most of the time.

"Jaina? Are you in here?"

Unless, he couldn't see here from where she was. Ever since she'd pulled away from him and the others, Jaina had developed a 'blocking' ability. Lately, Jacen couldn't find her exact location, but he could still get close enough to figure out where she was.

In all fairness, Jaina still loved her brother, but he could be rather stupid, most of the time. All she had to do was to stay quiet, and he wouldn't find her. After all, why would she go to the kitchen, when it'd be easier to avoid him outside?

Jacen looked around the kitchen some more, and left, without even coming near Jaina.

When she glanced out the door to see which direction he had taken, Jaina could see her brother walking outside. It was interesting to Jaina, that while her brother had lost the ability to track her, he could still unknowingly pick up on her thoughts.

She missed him and the others sometimes. Jaina had started avoiding them long before the dreams started, but she thought that they had something to do with it. She wasn't really sure as to why she stayed away from them, it was just that......

Jaina didn't even know why herself. It had started not long after the battle with Shadow Academy, she knew that. She also knew that when Zekk left, she was still herself. It had kind of started then, but not very much. She had become quieter, that was all.

But had it started before her fifteenth birthday, though it only intensified to where it was now only about six or seven months ago. Her 'friends' hadn't even noticed until then. They could all be pretty naive, when there wasn't a crisis going on.

Thinking about it, Jaina realized that was about the time when the dreams had started. She had started to lose weight before then, though. It was a few months after Zekk had gone off to become a bounty hunter, or whatever, when she'd figured out that he wasn't going to return any of her holo messages.

That was about the time when she and Jacen turned fifteen. Jaina hadn't been hurt. Well, yes she had, she'd just hidden it. It would of been nice if he could of at least sent her a letter, or something saying happy birthday on it. She'd felt kind of abandoned, but guilty as well.

She and her brother had forgotten his birthday several times, so Jacen didn't think it was that big of a deal. Jaina had just thought that since she didn't see him, ever, it would be nice to know he was still alive, and remembered who she was.

But Peckhum would always say that he was fine, and that he was trying to support himself, by doing whatever it was a bounty hunter did. That didn't mean that he didn't miss her, how could she say such a thing? He was just still feeling guilty, that was all.

He ought to be feeling guilty about not making any attempts to contact me in over a year and a half, Jaina thought.

But enough of that. She'd been standing in the middle of the kitchen for almost half an hour, and despite missing her the first time, Jacen was gonna wise up to the fact that she wasn't outside pretty soon.

Jaina sighed as she left the kitchen and headed towards her room. She'd eat the bread, and then sleep. If she was lucky, then she'd sleep through evening meal, and not have to put up with the usual grief her brother gave her for not eating enough. Of course, she'd probably wake up just as everyone else went to sleep, but it would at least give her some time alone. Her brother couldn't nag her if he was asleep.

"I've looked everywhere, and I still can't find her!"

"Jacen, calm down. If she doesn't want you to find her, then you probably won't."

Jacen was with Tenel Ka, on the north side of the great temple, pacing, and complaining about Jaina, again. Lowie had escaped by saying that the Rock Dragon's engines needed retuning. Tenel Ka was beginning to wish she'd joined him.

"Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down?! She could of gone for a walk, and been attacked by something, or fallen and hurt herself. She could be dead!"

"Don't you think you are overreacting? The temple is huge enough that she could easily hide from you for an hour, which I remind you, is only how long she's been 'missing'. And you would feel it if something violent had happened to her, wouldn't you?"

"So she's not dead. I'll give you that much. But why is she avoiding me?"

"I would avoid you also, if I were her. You have become far too overprotective of her."

"How am I overprotective?" Jacen demanded

"By hovering around her at every chance you get, by telling her what to do, how much to eat, and being an annoying person altogether."

"I'm just trying to keep her from starving herself. And I am not annoying."

"Yes, you have become very annoying."

"To you also?" Jacen was now worried that he'd somehow alienated Tenel Ka as well.

"No, not to me. I have never found you annoying, as of yet."

"Yet?"

"Your constant complaining about Jaina is getting to be irksome."

"Irksome? Now I'm 'irksome'?"

"You are rapidly becoming that way."

Jacen stopped pacing, and faced Tenel Ka, who was leaning against a wall.

"Define 'irksome'."

"You know what it means."

Tenel Ka suddenly recalled her earlier discussion with Jaina. What had Jaina meant when she had called Jacen hers? Tenel Ka did not think of her friend as a possession, the way many of her family members thought of men. But had Jaina meant something else?

"Yeah, but I want for you to tell me."

"It means annoying."

"But you said that I wasn't annoying."

"I said that you weren't annoying to me yet, but that you are annoying to your sister."

"True enough. Which reminds me, you said that you knew why Jaina was acting like she is. Why?"

"I think that I know why. But I'm not certain. I will tell you when I know I'm right."

"And until then?"

"And until then, you're on your own."

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